life and mortality are in our faces all the time.
maybe because in staring down death everyday, we're forced to know that life, every minute is borrowed time and each person we let ourselves care about is just one more loss somewhere down the line.
for this reasons, i know some of us doesn't bother making friends at all, but there's the rest of us, who make it a neccessity to move down the line, to push each loss as far away as we can.

sometimes i wished you were not dead. i wished you would still be alive and mad at me whenever i'm late, and that you have to park your bike by the bustop whie waiting for me. i wished you were alive just so that you could roll your eyes at me whenever i say i'm going on a diet.

sometimes, just sometimes, i wished it'll all come true.

anyhoos, i'm off to visit my mom for a couple of weeks. will be back in singapore only after payday.
adios mochachos.

so hmm.

i passed all modules (: but  i'm not entirely happy though. my gpa didnt move a bit. tsk. but its hokay, all i wanted was to clear the modules, and i'm really glad i did. i can't wait for saturday to leave singapore. i'm so broke broke broke. and i feel like buying myself a nice zip sweater from ripcurl. if only singapore has a hurley boutique.

and why is everyone going crazy over ed hardy? i feel scary when i see people wear them, its like worm twirling on their body. hahas, maybe he should just keep to tatooing.

i do not like these holidays.

i'm broke and that is why, i'm running away to see my mom.

come on twenty fifth, come faster.

and there's nothing to look foward too. i don't feel like twenty one, i feel like forthy five staying here.

you're such a lazy fugger. just going down to help me buy onions, that simple tiny miny little things you can't even do. after i sweat my ass off scrubbing the toilet and washing the dishes, and oh yah cooking for you and me. i don't know why i look after you when you got an accident. i don't know why you still have the guts to even eat what i cooked after pissing me off.

AHH. i hate this. i hate here. and i know complaining doesnt take me anywhere.

i seriously should live alone. i will die here. seriously, DIE.
 

FUCKINGPISS.

oh yah, i passed my clinical. and i am the only one who got an HANG BAO from my patient.
all hail bed thirthy five (:

No one loves me more than my mommy. Sometimes i wished i could return back that love.
I'm gonna spend more than a week back in kampong.

She called me yesterday, to tell me that Atan, my favourite cat has passed away, one month ago! Precisely, why didn't she tell me ealier? It was because I was having my final year promos, and she didn't want me to be mentally disturbed? How cute can she be? So sweet.

Dear Atan,
 i miss scraching your fat loosy goosybelly.
 i miss how you do your sissy pussy puur. 
 i miss how you run to me and spread your legs just to show off your tiny small balls. 
 i miss how you bite my digital camera's wire when i told not to.
 i miss how you come over to my mom's house and wait outside the door for me to come out and play with you. 
 i miss how you get jealous when your siblings sit on my lap, and how you will try to squeeze your butt on my lap.
 and i miss how you respond to your ugly name, atan.
i miss you, Atan.



Rest in peace cat.

 

the end of the promos ? tomorrow is my last paper which i have less than 50 percent confidence in.

i need to shop. no wait, first i need money.

brace for impact.

oh, robin call me his "sweet little sister". precisely, my heart almost stop. i knew he'll always love me more than that girlfriend of his.

HAHA, okay no time for evil. adult nursing paper is tomorrow. scary mary.